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  • Writer's pictureHenry Cavanaugh

Back In Time

When my boyfriend said that he thought Harrison Ford in his prime was the hottest man who’d ever lived I thought he was joking. I mean sure he was good looking but I thought there were plenty more guys who were more attractive - all of whom weren’t now old men. It was just weird to think about now he’s got grey hair and wrinkles but my boyfriend stood his ground and insisted that if he could fuck anyone outside of our relationship (we were allowed one choice each) then it would be younger Harrison Ford.

Knowing that my friend had recently won the love of her life by getting a warlock to set them up, I asked her to put me in contact with him. He was amused when I told him what I wanted but assured me that it was possible and he could make me look just like my boyfriend’s dream man. It wasn’t cheap at all but I knew that it was worth it to make my boyfriend’s dream come true. Once the payment had been finalized he pressed his index and middle fingers against my forehead and began mumbling in a language I didn’t understand.

I was about to ask him exactly what he was saying when I felt myself being pulled back sharply and the world seemed to vanish around me. I could only scream as darkness swam across my vision and I realized that I could no longer feel anything.

By the time I awoke I quickly realized that the warlock had double-crossed me. Rather than making me look like the young stud version of Harrison Ford he had sent me back in time to 1978 and forced me into possession of the actor’s body! The second Star Wars movie hadn’t even been filmed yet which seemed absolutely insane to me considering I was a nineties child. I wouldn’t mind all that much because exploring history sounded like it could be a lot of fun but I had absolutely no way to get back home and more importantly, no way to fool around with my boyfriend the way I’d been planning to.

I’m sure my boyfriend’s currently wondering what’s happened to me but it’s not like I’ve got any possible method of contacting him fifty years in the future to try and reverse the deal…

No, it looks like I’ll have to live with my choice. I’ve replaced Harrison Ford at possibly the most successful time of his life so I guess I might as well enjoy myself, right? After all, it’s not like everybody gets to be Han Solo!

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