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  • Writer's pictureHenry Cavanaugh

Lost In The Middle of Nowhere

Updated: Dec 15, 2018

I feel like I’ve been walking for days. I’m hungry and thirsty and tired but I’m still going, desperately trying to find my way back to civilization. I haven’t seen another human for at least six hours since I was separated from Jenny, my best friend, camping buddy and lifelong crush. We’d been on countless trips together before and everything had gone fine but this time it felt different. I could only hope that she was okay and had managed to find her way out of the chaotic mountainous area we were in and the woodlands around it.

About ten minutes after getting separated from Jenny I was stung by some sort of plant I’d never seen before. It was a rookie mistake and my hand began to swell. I could only hope that I hadn’t managed to poison myself because what a miserable end that would be - lost in the mountains and probably not to be recovered for weeks or months. It’s not poison, you’re just overreacting! Believing that was much easier said than done.

Deciding that my best option was to get to high ground and try to plan a way out of the hazardous landscape I had found myself in, I set off on a long trek up the side of one of the peaks, absently scratching at the back of my swollen hand as I did so. I was so focused on my goal that I didn’t notice the swelling beginning to spread up my arms, even when the sleeves of my blue tee struggled against the increased size of my biceps and triceps.

Upon reaching the highest point of the mountain, the  t-shirt was now all but pushed to its limits and it became impossible for me to ignore. I stared down at a body that seemed foreign to me but was also incredibly exciting. My frequent cardio had always kept me lean and I’d never put on any real muscle which had made me an easy target back in my days as a high school nerd.

My hands underwent a quick exploration of my body - groping meaty pecs, tracing patterns down my abs and even cupping the growing bulge in my jeans. Everything was so much bigger which felt strange but it was certainly not entirely unwanted. In fact it only made me even more eager to escape the goddamn mountains and the view made it easy to determine a path straight out of the purgatory I’d been trapped in for hours.

Jenny will never believe what’s happened to me when we finally get reunited. I’ll tell you what though, I’m not sure I’ll be stuck in the ‘friendzone’ for much longer. I’m every bit as hunky as the jocks she dated back in high school and college, plus I share her love for the outdoors. I think it’s fair for me to say I’m pretty much her ideal man now - I just gotta get walking so I can get back to my lady!

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